Nashville Cat-ty

The following email is making the rounds of Music City inboxes today. Any misspellings are the author's, not mine.

Why do I laugh every time I see Scott Borchetta's license plate?? Huh, DOMIN8R??
What in the hell is up with his hair? Halloween is the only day that the male perm should be pulled off.
How long are we going to hear that "The Storm is Coming!" before Category 5 records actually sells an album??
Why doesn't Universal South just shut the doors already? This is getting embarrassing.
Is it possible for one person to embarrass an entire industry?? Mindy will surely find out.
I saw Wynonna's husband in the mall the other day. I held my daughter tightly.
I believe that there are more Canadians in Nashville than Canada.
I heard that Kenny fell out of a chair at Southstreet a few weeks ago. He was trying to climb down.
Does Tracy L. even need to open his mouth when he sings?
Has Keith U. had the same song out for 18 months, or does it just seem like it...
Is Joe Nichols solely responsible for the spice in suicides?
Has he sold a record yet?
I heard they brought in a real live goat to hit some of the higher notes on Toby's last CD.
They may have to change Gary LeVox's hairstyle soon. His hairdresser can no longer get in close enough to style it.
When is Jennifer Nettles going to fire that guy that's in all her videos? Oh...he's part of Sugarland?!?!
Congrats to B&R for finally getting their first #1. Their flash in the pan is almost over.
Saw Ty Herndon at the YMCA in Green Hills last week. In the locker room. Define scared.